I happened to be going along the Via Sacra, thinking, as is my wont, on some trifle-I don't remember what-and was entirely absorbed in it, when a man whom I knew only by name ran up to me and took hold of my hand, saying, "How are you, my dearest fellow?" "Pretty well, all things considered", I answered. "And I hope that all goes well with you." When I saw that he was following me I anticipated him. "There's nothing I can do for you, is there?" "Yes! Make my acquitance. I am a man of letters." "I shall value you all the more for that," I replied. Wishing very much to be rid of him, I first quickened my pace and then stopped short, whispered something or other into my slave'sear, while perspiration ran down to my feet. "O Bolanus, you lucky man!" I murmured. Meanwhile he prattled on, praising the streets, the city, and when I did not answer, he said: "You desire awfully to be rid of me. But I sahll stick to you. I shall continue to follow you. Where are you bound?" "There's no need of your being dragged around. I wish to call someone-you don't know him-he lives far from here-across the Tiber near Caesar's gardens-he's sick in bed." "My time is my own and I'm not lazy. I'll go all the way with you." My ears dropped like an abused donkey's when he is overloaded. He began again. "If I really know myself, you will not value the friendship of Viscus or of Varius more than mine. Who can writemore verses in a given time than I? Who can dance more beautifully? Even Hermogenes might envy my singing." Here was a chance to break in. "Is your mother living, or have you norelatives to take care of you?" "None! I have buried them all." "How lucky they were! I am the only left. Finish me! For the hour is come to meet the unhappy fate that the old Sabellan woman foretold of me in my childhood. She shook the lots in her urn and said, 'Neither cruel poison nor an enemy's sword; nor pleurisy, nor cough, nor crippling gout shall destroy this boy. A man who talk too much shall at some time or other finish him. If he is wise let him shun chatters as soon as he grows up.' " By this time we had come to Vesta's temple. It was past nine o'clock, and, as luck would have it, he was bouded to appear in Court at that hour under penalty of forfeiting his case. "Won't you please," said he, "wait a little while to advise me?" "I'll be hanged if I can stand so long. I know nothing about law. And besides I must hurry, you know where." "I don't know what to do. Shall I give you up, or my case?" "Me, I beg you!" "I cannot," said he, and began to lead the way. As is is difficult to fight with one's master, I followed. "How do you and Maecenas get on togheter?" he began again. "A man of few friends and very sound judegment-nobody uses his opportunities more cleverly. You would have a strong supporter who could play second to you if you would introduce your humble servant. Damn it, you could push all of them aside in a minute!" "You fail to understand the relation between us. There is no house cleaner or freer from such intrigues. It never makes any difference, I tell you, that someone is wealthier or more learned than I. Each of us has his own place." "Wonderful! I can hardly believe it." "But it's so!" "You make me all more eager for his intimacy." "You have only to wish for it. Your ability is such that you will successfully storm his citadel. He can be won-that is why he makes the first approach difficult." "I shall not fail. I'll bribe his slaves. If I'm shut out today, I'll not give up. I'll look for favorable opportunities. I'll meet him in the streets. I'll escort him home. Life's prizes are not to be won without effort." While all this was happening Aristus Fuscus met us, a dear friend of mine and one who knew him well. We stopped. "where do you come from?" and "Where are you going?" was asked and answered. I began to pull his toga and to take hold of his unresponsive arm, nodding and winking for him to rescue me. The dirty joker smiled and pretended not to understand. I was raging mad! "Surely you said that you had something to tell me in preivate." "I remember it very well, but another time will do. Today is the thirtieth Sabbath. Do you want to insult the circumcised Jews?" "I have no religious scruple." "But I have. I am a bit weaker than you-one of the multitude. Pardon me, I'll tell you some other time." To think that this should happen to me! The rogue ran away and left me with the knife at my throat! By chance the plaintiff in the suit met him. "Where are you going, you scoundrel?" he cried in a loud voice. "Will you witness the arrest?" he said to me. I assented. He dragged him to court, both of them shouting, with a crowd about them. So Apollo saved me!